In The Demons’ Head: Complacency = Failure
October 7, 2016
Hello and welcome everyone to another edition of “In The Demons’ Head” Today, is going to be different. What I mean is that in every post I’ve written up until now there has been a bit of feel good, happiness and who knows what else in these post but today, well that just isn’t the case. That’s because today, I want to share with you a story, it’s my story, and it’s the story of how someone almost lost themselves, chasing the dream of being a writer.
October 7, 2016
Hello and welcome everyone to another edition of “In The Demons’ Head” Today, is going to be different. What I mean is that in every post I’ve written up until now there has been a bit of feel good, happiness and who knows what else in these post but today, well that just isn’t the case. That’s because today, I want to share with you a story, it’s my story, and it’s the story of how someone almost lost themselves, chasing the dream of being a writer.
You see, for about 4 and a half years, give or take a few months, I’ve been working on this goal of becoming a published writer. In fact, the whole thing started when I first met my now wife who told me that I should chase the dream of writing. I’ll be completely honest with you, I didn’t think that I was ever good enough to try and put the words to paper and make something out of myself as a writer. However, she made me see things differently.
Since that day all those years ago, I have been trying to get my act together and ready myself for what I hope will be a long and fruitful publishing career. However, I know that statistically that won’t ever come to pass. Instead, it’s far more likely that I will continue to spend my hours working at my day job, and hopefully climb my way up some corporate ladder, and maybe one day be happy with the job that I find myself in at that particular moment.
The fact is, this is also as likely a failure on my part. Because, let’s be honest with ourself here, I will never be happy working in a retail job. Because retail isn’t what I was born to do. If you know me on a personal level you know this to be the truth. If you don’t well, guess what you have a window to my soul at your fingertips.
Instead, I sit here as the time ticks ever closer to midnight, knowing that I have to be up in the morning writing this post. That’s not because I look for applause, or sympathy, or anything like that. I sit here and write these words because I know there are a few people that read them every week. I know that they enjoy the conversations that we have through the webpages of my website, or whatever vice they found the post through. I write because it’s almost like breathing, it’s more like something I have to do anymore, it’s like living and writing, or not writing and dying. I know for some that seems like a bit of dramatic comparison, but for those of you who understand it. I thank you.
Now you may ask yourself, Kyle, what is it that inspired you to write a post about how writing, is living? It’s simple… because a couple of weeks ago, I debating giving up writing. Now, before you get all freaked out (some friends and family read this) that doesn’t mean I was about to walk to the nearest bridge and jump into the path of on coming semi. But, it did mean that I debating putting down the pen forever.
I knew going into this career path it wouldn’t be easy, hell it was likely to be the hardest and most daunting pathway I’d ever find myself on. But, that didn’t stop me from trying to reassure myself putting the demons’ to rest for a final time would make life easier. That no longer writing a poem, or a story, would make it easier, would make life easier.
To be honest, it wouldn’t. In fact, it would have haunted me day in day out. But, then, how do I deal with the idea that I’m no where near where I feel I should be when it comes to my own discoverability and career? The same way that I’ve dealt with it for the last three and a half years, by powering through it.
I know these feelings aren’t anything new to those of us who have been working in the artistic fields longer then five minutes but that doesn’t make it any less crappy to know that there are days you wake up wondering if life will every fold your direction or not. The fact is, if it doesn’t make the most out of what you do have.
For me, I’ve been running this blog for almost 4 years and while it’s taken a LONG time I’m finally seeing a decent number of visitors to the website every week. This is a vast improvement over the original 10-12 that were there. That’s not as far as some have come, but for me it’s a start.
The moral to this whole story is this: Don’t let complacency and fear breed you to think you’re less then you are. If you believe that won’t be able to be enough to make something out of yourself, then it’s likely that you won’t ever believe enough in yourself to actually chase the dreams that will take you off the beaten path and into a world that few have inhabited. Take it from a guy that’s been there, complacency will get you no where in life, except right where you are right now. So, get off your ass bite the bullet and make yourself, and whatever project you may be working on better.
Next week guys, I’m going to talk about the idea of Augmented reality becoming a new reality and killing social media as we know it. Until then, be sure to follow/friend me on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter, and join my mailing list. Until the next time you want to take a trip through the gates of hell, and into the gates of hell, I’m Kyle Robinson wishing you a safe trip back to the surface.
Since that day all those years ago, I have been trying to get my act together and ready myself for what I hope will be a long and fruitful publishing career. However, I know that statistically that won’t ever come to pass. Instead, it’s far more likely that I will continue to spend my hours working at my day job, and hopefully climb my way up some corporate ladder, and maybe one day be happy with the job that I find myself in at that particular moment.
The fact is, this is also as likely a failure on my part. Because, let’s be honest with ourself here, I will never be happy working in a retail job. Because retail isn’t what I was born to do. If you know me on a personal level you know this to be the truth. If you don’t well, guess what you have a window to my soul at your fingertips.
Instead, I sit here as the time ticks ever closer to midnight, knowing that I have to be up in the morning writing this post. That’s not because I look for applause, or sympathy, or anything like that. I sit here and write these words because I know there are a few people that read them every week. I know that they enjoy the conversations that we have through the webpages of my website, or whatever vice they found the post through. I write because it’s almost like breathing, it’s more like something I have to do anymore, it’s like living and writing, or not writing and dying. I know for some that seems like a bit of dramatic comparison, but for those of you who understand it. I thank you.
Now you may ask yourself, Kyle, what is it that inspired you to write a post about how writing, is living? It’s simple… because a couple of weeks ago, I debating giving up writing. Now, before you get all freaked out (some friends and family read this) that doesn’t mean I was about to walk to the nearest bridge and jump into the path of on coming semi. But, it did mean that I debating putting down the pen forever.
I knew going into this career path it wouldn’t be easy, hell it was likely to be the hardest and most daunting pathway I’d ever find myself on. But, that didn’t stop me from trying to reassure myself putting the demons’ to rest for a final time would make life easier. That no longer writing a poem, or a story, would make it easier, would make life easier.
To be honest, it wouldn’t. In fact, it would have haunted me day in day out. But, then, how do I deal with the idea that I’m no where near where I feel I should be when it comes to my own discoverability and career? The same way that I’ve dealt with it for the last three and a half years, by powering through it.
I know these feelings aren’t anything new to those of us who have been working in the artistic fields longer then five minutes but that doesn’t make it any less crappy to know that there are days you wake up wondering if life will every fold your direction or not. The fact is, if it doesn’t make the most out of what you do have.
For me, I’ve been running this blog for almost 4 years and while it’s taken a LONG time I’m finally seeing a decent number of visitors to the website every week. This is a vast improvement over the original 10-12 that were there. That’s not as far as some have come, but for me it’s a start.
The moral to this whole story is this: Don’t let complacency and fear breed you to think you’re less then you are. If you believe that won’t be able to be enough to make something out of yourself, then it’s likely that you won’t ever believe enough in yourself to actually chase the dreams that will take you off the beaten path and into a world that few have inhabited. Take it from a guy that’s been there, complacency will get you no where in life, except right where you are right now. So, get off your ass bite the bullet and make yourself, and whatever project you may be working on better.
Next week guys, I’m going to talk about the idea of Augmented reality becoming a new reality and killing social media as we know it. Until then, be sure to follow/friend me on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter, and join my mailing list. Until the next time you want to take a trip through the gates of hell, and into the gates of hell, I’m Kyle Robinson wishing you a safe trip back to the surface.